Pick Fewer Battles

“Choose your battles wisely.”

I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve been given this advice — or how many times I’ve failed to live up to it. I have found the process of learning to be a better husband to be consistent more or less of internalizing this lesson. Each year I manage to let more things go, to pick fewer battles — and I pretty much always end up happier because of it. That I’m still learning this after more than 10 years of marriage just goes to show that I’m a slow learner.

The worst of these battles are always the pointless ones. The ones where two hours later you forget what you were arguing about. I’m especially prone to these as I have a compulsive need to be right and I actually enjoy arguing. But recently, I heard a great question that helps me in those moments

“Would you rather be right or happy?”

It’s a simple question that provides a profound perspective. For almost any argument at home, my answer is usually “happy”. So I choose fewer battles, argue less, and become happier for it.